Hermione Granger and the bane of Christmas
by elfbs
Summary: Christmas. A time of joy, family reunions, gifts. And - as Hermione just found out - pranks. Rated T just to be sure.


**A/N: just a little Christmas-inspired one-shot. Let's say it takes place during Hermione's last year, post-war.**

 **Merry Christmas, Yuletide, whatever you want to call it, or even if you don't want to call it at all. Just be happy.**

 ***EDIT* Shame on me! Because in my haste to see it published, i forgot the most important thing. Let me try to make amend.**

 **Thanks (one more time) to Phoenixnext for her invaluable beta-work. Not only you kept up with my insanity, but also gave me some good points to work on.  
And it still amazes me how your brain isn't a puddle of goo yet. Oh, well, that means i have to try harder.**

-o-o-o-

For the last 20 minutes, Hermione Granger has been showcasing a scowl that could have taught a thing or two to Viktor Krum. Standing in the hallway leaning back to the wall, wand in hand and arms crossed, a foot constantly pattering, Hermione was the living embodiment of annoyance.

And the stares weren't helping. Every person passing by had similar reactions: looked at her, then above her head, then at her again. Some then giggled, some gave her a understanding sad smile, Slytherins - of course - sneered. Some even had the gall to linger around to see how things would go.

She didn't need to look over her head to see what attracted their attention, she already knew. ' _Bloody charmed mistletoe!_ ' she thought, listing the hexes she would cast on the prat who hung it. Or prats. Or - she was almost sure - _twin_ ginger prats.

Charmed Mistletoe, the bane of Yule festivities. She didn't know who first thought it would be fun to create them, but they had been a recurring fixture in Hogwarts for centuries, so much as to be mentioned in _Hogwarts - A History_. A one-way ward combined with a compulsion charm. Whoever had the bad luck to walk under them would be trapped by invisible walls. The only way to get free was to wait for another person to walk inside the wards too. The only downside? That would not be enough to take down the barriers, to turn off the charm the unwilling pair had to kiss. And the compulsion charm will ensure they do it _properly_.

Of course, over the years that led to some interesting meeting, some funny, some… less funny. Like that time when Crabbe and Goyle… She quickly shook her head desperately trying to cleanse her mind of that image. Adding nausea to her already threatening level of annoyance wouldn't help her.

Anyway, there she stood, trapped under one of those wretched things that some genius hung right behind a corner, waiting and 'dodging bullets'. Like the firstie that she tutored a couple of time, poor kid almost stepped inside when he just wanted to ask her a question. Or those third years, who she had to threaten to hex them into the next week if they only _dared_ to take another step in her direction. Or Draco Malfoy, who has been hexed as soon as he opened his mouth to taunt her. Or - she hoped - he was about to, because the idea he was going to offer his help sent shivers down her spine and not good ones. And how to forget Cormac MgLaggen, who fell victim of a surreptitious 'stupefy' even _before_ he could open his mouth. ' _Better safe than sorry._ ' She thought.

But while she was relieved and a little amused that she has been able to chase away that bunch of gits - plus one firstie - she wasn't any nearer to escaping the smooch trap.

' _Honestly! If I REALLY have to kiss someone, can't at least be someone… enjoyable? I don't know, someone like…_ '

"Miss Granger." a voice called, and Hermione sighed loudly _'Of everyone, why her?_ ' She turned to face the newcomer and was met with the face of Daphne Greengrass, who was looking at her with a sly, amused smile.

"Can I help you, Miss Greengrass?" Snarled back Hermione, her patience quickly worn thin.

"I don't think I am the one who needs help, Granger." she replied with a not well hidden scoff. "If I may, I thought better of you. With all that _brightest witch of whatever_ the professors are going on and on… Don't you think it's a rather dumb move, to fall for such a cheap trick?"

Hermione gritted her teeth. She had enough, both of waiting and of the girl's sarcasm. In the blink of an eye, she pointed her wand at the blonde and yelled "Accio Daphne's uniform!"

The spell worked as she was expecting, making the uniform fly to her, inside the ward. Of course, it also brought the person who was wearing it.

With a squeal, Daphne found herself in Hermione's arms, who quickly pinned her against the wall and then locked their lips in a deep, heated, toe-curling kiss.

Hermione took her sweet time exploring Daphne's mouth, who on her side was frozen in place, until they both heard a loud *pop* when the mistletoe dissolved in thin air.

After a quick flick of her tongue on the blonde's lips, Hermione let her prey finally free. "Oh, you were right, Daph." she said grinning "I indeed needed a hand, but I knew you wouldn't mind helping me."

Then she leaned closer to the bewildered girl to whisper in her ear "Next time don't make me wait for so long, I lost count of the people I had to hex away."

Stepping back with a cocky Gryffindor grin. "Merry Christmas Daphne. And thank you for the... gift." she said licking her lips. With a last wink to the blushing slytherin Hermione left.

Still propped against the wall, Daphne kept her gaze on the little sway of Hermione's arse as long as she could. When finally the little wheels in her head went back to a regular cycle, her first coherent thought was ' _Shite! I think I'm in love._ '


End file.
